By Dr. Jeremy Holloway

There is a phrase many of us use without thinking twice:

“I’m confused.”

It sounds harmless. Honest. Even humble.

Yet over time, that phrase can quietly reinforce something our communities need less of, not more of.

It can reinforce the habit of stepping back from contribution.

 

What the Phrase Often Communicates

When someone says, “I’m confused,” the statement can signal more than uncertainty. It can communicate withdrawal from the process of working something through.

It can suggest:

I am no longer contributing to this solution.
I am handing the responsibility over.
Someone else now needs to fix this for me.

That may not be the intention. Most people who use the phrase are thoughtful and engaged. Yet language influences participation. When we default to “I’m confused,” we may unintentionally step out of collaborative effort.

Clarity is rarely produced by one person alone. It grows through shared investigation.

 

Consumers of Information vs. Contributors to Understanding

Many of our educational and professional environments are structured around receiving information. Lessons are presented. Slides are displayed. Materials are distributed. Success is measured by absorption and recall.

Over time, it becomes natural to approach knowledge as something delivered rather than something developed.

If clarity feels missing, the reflex can be to wait for someone else to provide it.

But thriving communities, organizations, and institutions need more than consumers of knowledge. They need contributors. They need individuals willing to wrestle with complexity, ask sharper questions, and work alongside others to refine ideas.

Saying “I’m confused” can unintentionally reinforce a passive posture—one where understanding is expected to arrive fully formed.

Our society does not need more passivity. It needs more engaged thinkers.

 

A Moment That Changed the Framing

A potential intern once shared her interest in the gaps between biological science research, public health frameworks, and social determinants of health. As she described her thinking, she hesitated and said, “I know that sounds scatterbrained.”

It did not.

She was noticing an area that had not yet been clearly integrated within existing structures. She was doing the hard work of exploring something that did not have a ready-made outline.

When there is no established path, early ideas can feel unfinished. That does not mean they lack direction. It often means they are pioneering.

I told her that she was not scattered. She was observing something that deserved deeper examination. She was engaging in the kind of thinking that leads to new insight.

That is leadership in motion.

 

The Work of a Leader

Leaders do not wait for clarity to be handed to them. They help generate it.

Advocates do not step away when complexity appears. They lean into it.

Problem solvers do not say, “This makes no sense, someone else take over.” They identify where the gap exists and begin working through it with others.

When we say, “I’m confused,” we risk signaling that we are stepping away from that role.

A stronger alternative might be:

“I’m seeking clarity on this specific point.”
“I understand part of this and would like to work through the rest.”
“I see a gap here and want to explore it further.”

These statements communicate ownership. They keep us in the work.

 

Collaboration Requires Contribution

Genuine collaboration is not one person explaining and another passively receiving. It is two or more individuals bringing their thinking forward and refining it together.

When someone articulates the exact area where clarity is needed, the conversation advances.

Instead of stopping at confusion, they say:

“This is what I understand.”
“This is where I see tension.”
“This is the question I’m working through.”

Now the exchange becomes constructive. Both parties are contributing.

This posture respects the other person. It says, I value your insight and I am committed to bringing mine.

 

A Cultural Shift Toward Engagement

Across sectors—healthcare, education, business, community work—there is increasing need for individuals willing to work through challenges collaboratively.

Complex issues do not resolve through passive participation. They require people who will stay present in the discomfort of not yet knowing and continue asking thoughtful questions.

When we replace “I’m confused” with “I’m seeking clarity,” we model that shift.

We communicate:

I am still engaged.
I am willing to contribute.
I am committed to solving this together.

That is the mindset of a leader in any field.

 

Seek Clarity, Don’t Surrender It

There is nothing wrong with not yet understanding something fully. Growth often begins there.

The invitation is simply this: do not surrender your role in the process.

Instead of stepping back, step forward.

Instead of declaring confusion, articulate the clarity you are pursuing.

Our communities need more investigators. More advocates. More collaborative thinkers. More people willing to work through complexity alongside those with different perspectives.

Seek clarity with others.

Stay in the work.